I Want to Be a Successful Online Dater

You’ve made the decision to date online with a service such as Lavalife or Chemistry.com, so how do you do it successfully? More and more people look for love on the Web these days, and you could easily get lost in the crowd. To successfully date online consider two things:

How to Present Yourself

To successfully date, one needs to find those most suited to him or her. How does one know who is suited to whom? Online dating profiles serve as calling cards. If you have a direct and honest profile, it will serve also as a beacon for those compatible to you.

Need a clue how to design that profile? Here are two. 1. Answer all of the profile questions. Be succinct, and always be honest. 2. Search through profiles. If you are drawn to a specific one, mimic it.

As to your profile picture, err on the side of modesty. Though skin pictures may have their place, a headshot will serve the serious dater best.

After you have established your online dating profile, do not feel locked into it. In fact, regularly updating your profile keeps your profile fresh. Successful online daters get the most hits, and a large part of their success is owed to the repeat business that changing their profiles ensures them.

How to Communicate Effectively

Online dating services offer a variety of ways for their members to communicate: email, chat, or instant messaging. Some dating services, like Matchmaker, are even making it possible to text between members.

To be a successful dater, you should utilize all of these communication tools. Email offers daters the online version of letter writing and mail service. You and the addressee both have time to consider and compose your thoughts and responses. Chat, though more immediate than email, offers the safety of numbers. It’s a party. Or a party line, at least. Instant messaging allows chatters to walk away from the party and have a private conversation.

As a rule, email is more formal than chat or instant messaging. Most choose to make first contact through email rather than instant messaging precisely because it mimics the old world civility. In the introductory email, the successful online dater introduces him/herself briefly, highlights similarities between him/herself and the addressee, and shares a short anecdote.

To be the most successful online dater, beyond canvassing daters with your emails, you must answer your emails, respond courteously to chatters, and treat your instant messengers with respect.